


The Life I've Lived

by MarigoldFlowers



Category: Naruto
Genre: After the 4th Shinobi War, Angst, Extremely Short Story, How Do I Tag, Hurt, I don't know where I was going with this, M/M, lol, so uhh, uhh, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-02 19:46:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15803355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarigoldFlowers/pseuds/MarigoldFlowers
Summary: "What are you looking for?" Naruto asked, eyes full of pain as Sasuke walked away."Myself." He answered.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> SOoo I don't even know why I wrote this, but I just read Sharingan Rising and I GOT SO PISSED BECAUSE NARUTO DIDN"T GET TO HAVE A HAPPY ENDING WITH SASUKE UHh

Sasuke can't stop staring. He can't help it. Because that's a picture of Naruto on the wall behind the bar, taken right after the war ended. News travels fast, it seems, even in the distant towns that weren't ruled by the elemental nations. 

"You recognize him, boy?" The bartender asks in his local accent. 

Sasuke nods, slow and hesitant. Not many people in the land of Tea Leaves knows about him, and he wants to keep it that way. Ueno has always been a station for mercenaries. Rumors were bound to be carried. 

"My nephew fled to Konohagakure after the fourth war. 'Praises that Naruto." 

Tipping his cup of sake to his lips, Sasuke dunks the liquid down his throat. It burns, but he relishes the taste. "What do they say about him, here?" Sasuke asks. 

The bartender, Ryota, chuckles. "Many things. The travelers- they come and go, but if they're from the elemental nations he's all they can talk about." 

Sasuke raises an eyebrow. There's no doubt that Naruto made quite the reputation for himself. He may not have been the smartest growing up, but his grit mattered in the long run. He buried himself in books and scrolls, and came out of them a completely different person. 

The last time Sasuke saw him was seven months ago, when he was appointed second-in-command of the council; a position that practically rivaled the Hokage. The laws he put into place garnered the support of millions- even the local bars in Ueno. 

"He's got blood from Whirlpool, 'don't he?" Ryota jerks his hand to the picture. "He's blessed with Uzumaki's good looks." 

That he is. Sasuke knows better than anyone that the picture doesn't do Naruto any justice. No- Sasuke remembers clearly, the impossible sea of blue in Naruto's eyes, the sharp tilt of his jaw, and the smooth curve of his lips. 

An angel incarnate. 

Sasuke pushes down the memory and finishes his sake. He hands money to Ryota, and heads out. 

___

The plains of the land of Rice Fields are a sight to behold. What seems like hundreds of acres of grain spreads before Sasuke, golden and flowing as the wind carries it. There's a faint petrichor to the earth, and the clouds from last night's rain linger in the air. Sasuke breathes it all in, and exhales. 

His heart sings of home- of redwood trees so tall they seem to reach the sky, of lakes and rivers carrying koi and salmon down its waters. Sasuke misses the constant chatter of the rookie nine, Sakura’s homemade rice balls and Naruto’s laugh.  
___

'What are you looking for?' Naruto asked, eyes full of pain as Sasuke walked away from him. 

'Myself.' He answered.

___ 

Sasuke picks up a pendant from the rubble of what used to be Uzushio's temple. The island is long abandoned, but surprisingly untouched. It's a city frozen in time. Cursed to be forgotten. 

Brushing off the dust coating the surface of the jewel, Sasuke looks out of the ruins overlooking the ocean and wonders what it might've looked like decades ago. The tiles are worn out from decay, but the colors are there- gold faintly shining beneath the haze. 

Uzushiogakure was beauty amongst mortals. Legends say that the island was a gift from the Sage of Six Paths as an heirloom to the Uzumaki clan, a coveted land rich with pure chakra that blessed the people who lived there with longevity and power for so long that it became embedded into their blood. 

Sasuke stares down at the swirling colors of blue inside the pendant. 

It reminds him of Naruto's eyes. 

He pockets it and heads for the beach.

The sand is bright and shining under the morning sun, but the heat is comfortable. A mellow breeze curls through the air, ruffling his hair. Sasuke strips down to his underwear and steps into the cold waters. The sand laps around his feet, smooth and ticklish. 

He dives. 

Under the water is a museum of colors. Rays of sun pierce the sand like gold, shimmering and effervescent. Everywhere Sasuke turns, all he can see is blue, blue, blue. His eyes don't sting one bit, but Sasuke closes them anyway. 

___

"Are you going to see him?" Sakura asks, something like pity in her eyes as she twists her spoon around her bowl of ice cream. 

Sasuke doesn't answer. Instead, he turns to watch the bustling streets of Konoha and wonders if the yellow flicker of hair in the crowds is just another figment of his imagination. 

Sakura sighs heavily. "He's been waiting for you to come home, you know." There is something somber in her voice as she gets up, pinning Sasuke beneath her stare. "He stopped expecting you to a long time ago." 

And she leaves.  
___

Kakashi smiles at Sasuke from the Hokage's chair. "Mission report," He says. 

Sasuke's voice catches in his throat. Naruto is standing right beside Kakashi, barely five meters away with a hopeful look on his face. He's grown taller and leaner than before. And actually wearing something other than his ratty orange coat. 

But he's just so, so handsome. His eyes are as vivid as ever, calm and happy. His hair has gotten longer.

Naruto gives Sasuke a dimpled grin, and it feels like a punch to the chest. 

No wonder why everyone's been referring to him as 'Konoha's bachelor.' 

Sasuke works his jaw until he can speak again, and gives Kakashi his mission report while a blush threatens creeps up his neck. 

His jounin sensei’s eye crinkles in amusement. 

___

"Sasuke!" Naruto calls from the hallway of the Tower. Sasuke turns to face him. 

That's his Naruto, bright and happy- and Sasuke can't help but think, 'I don't deserve to be.' 

Sasuke can't help but imagine what it would feel like to wake up next to Naruto. To laugh at his jokes and hold him in his arms. He wonders how soft Naruto's hair is. How gentle his lips are. 

But every time Sasuke manages to look into Naruto's eyes, all he sees is the frozen, horrified look Naruto gave him as he plunged a Chidori straight into his chest all those years ago. 

All he sees are his mistakes. His regrets. Naruto shouldn't be smiling up at him. Hell, Sasuke doesn't even deserve him. Not one bit. All he can do is watch from the sidelines at the one person he knows he doesn't get to keep. 

There's a familiar ache in his heart as he walks away. 

'I love you,' He wants to say. 

"Goodbye," He says instead. 

___


	2. Here With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't know what tf I'm doin so uhhh e

He’s barely past Konoha’s gate as a warm hand wraps around his, tugging. 

 

“Wait,” Naruto calls, desperate. There’s something terribly akin to  _ longing _ in his eyes as he forces Sasuke to turn. 

 

Sasuke wants to bend out of the touch simply from habit, but he doesn’t. 

 

_ He can’t. _

 

All around them, snow falls like raindrops from the evening sky. A snowflake lands on the edges of Naruto’s eyelash- and Sasuke has the undeniable urge to brush it away. 

 

_ He doesn’t.  _

 

“Stay.” 

 

And suddenly, he’s thrown back to the valley of the end, blood dripping from his lip as he punched his former teammate _ over  _ and over again. Sasuke’s always fought with the intent to kill. Naruto never did.    
  


Guilt curls in his gut, low and treacherous. Sasuke knows that Naruto has always been his anchor, not pulling him down or holding him back; but securing him from the tide. Saving him. Pulling him back from the brink. 

 

All Sasuke has ever done, though, is hurt Naruto. 

 

“I can’t.” He whispers quietly.

 

There are too many ghosts in the village he used to call his home. It’s just a reminder of what he lost, of what he took for granted, and what he destroyed. 

 

But then Naruto places his hands on Sasuke’s face, lowers it to his own, and kisses him with such fragility that it shatters Sasuke’s heart. 

 

_ His lips are soft. _

 

Sasuke’s dreamed of kissing Naruto a thousand times over. But this is solid.  _ Real.  _

Sasuke leans into his touch this time and returns the kiss. 

 

_ Naruto is my home,  _ he thinks. Not Konoha, not the Uchiha clan, and not even his brother. 

 

But  _ Naruto. _

 

Falling in love is a bittersweet thing. Some people might describe it as gentle or soothing, but Sasuke will never have it any other way. The raging fire in his soul is something he will treasure for a lifetime. Because no matter how bad his life gets, he won’t run away again. Not now, not ever. 

 

Naruto pulls away, his crystal blue eyes gazing up into Sasuke’s. He smells like the last lingering remains of autumn, mocha, and hazelnut. 

 

“Stay.” He says again. 

 

_ And Sasuke does.  _

 

_ ___ _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should I write more? hMMMMmmmmmmMm

**Author's Note:**

> :))))))))))))))))))


End file.
